How You Can Induce Lactation as a Non-Birthing Parent

Breastfeeding is often seen as something only birthing parents can do — but that isn’t the full story. If you’re becoming a parent through adoption, surrogacy, or in a same-sex partnership, you may be wondering: Can I still breastfeed my baby, even if I didn’t give birth? The answer is yes. Through a process called induced lactation, you can teach your body to make milk, create closeness at the breast, and share in one of the most intimate parts of early parenting.

How Induced Lactation Works

Your body already has what it needs to produce milk: breast tissue and hormone receptors. Normally, during pregnancy, high levels of estrogen and progesterone prepare the breasts, while prolactin and oxytocin take over after birth to make and release milk.

When you induce lactation, you’re essentially “tricking” your body into thinking a baby has arrived. Here’s how:

• Hormone priming (optional): You may take estrogen and progesterone for several months to mimic pregnancy, then stop them to mimic birth. This signals your body that it’s time to start milk production.

• Stimulation: The real key is regular breast stimulation. Pumping, hand expression, or putting your baby to the breast 8–12 times a day tells your body, “Milk is needed.” Over time, your breast tissue responds by producing milk.

• Boosting supply: Certain medications can increase prolactin, while herbal options are sometimes added. These don’t work alone, however. They’re most effective when combined with stimulation.

• At-breast supplementation: Even if your supply isn’t full, you can use a supplemental nursing system. This allows your baby to get enough nutrition while still nursing at your breast, keeping the stimulation going and deepening your bond.

Think of it this way: hormones prepare the stage, stimulation does the heavy lifting, and medications or herbs give extra support.

What You Can Expect

Every journey looks different. Some parents make a full milk supply; others make partial amounts - both are successes. What matters most is the connection you and your baby share at the breast.

Factors that help you succeed include:

• Starting as early as possible, ideally months before your baby arrives

• Pumping or nursing consistently throughout the day and night

• Introducing your baby to the breast early and avoiding bottle preference

• Having strong support from your partner, family, medical team, and a knowledgeable lactation consultant

Why You Might Choose This

You may choose to induce lactation because:

• You want to share breastfeeding with your partner

• You’re adopting and want to bond in those first months of life

• You’d like to comfort and soothe your baby at the breast, even if much of their nutrition comes from formula or donor milk

• You want to feel fully included in your child’s early care

Remember: success isn’t measured in ounces. Many parents see even partial supply as a victory because of the closeness it brings.

The Emotional Side of Induced Lactation

While induced lactation can be a beautiful way to bond with your baby, it’s important to acknowledge the emotions that may come with the process. For many parents, there’s a mix of excitement, hope, and pride, but also moments of frustration, doubt, or grief if things don’t go as planned.

• The highs: Many parents describe feeling empowered and deeply connected to their baby through the act of nursing, even when the milk supply is partial. Each drop of milk and every moment of comfort can feel like a victory.

  
  

• The challenges: It can be discouraging if supply doesn’t come in as strongly as hoped, or if the process takes longer than expected. Pumping frequently, managing medications, or explaining your choice to others may also feel overwhelming.

• If it doesn’t work out as planned: Not everyone will achieve the level of milk production they imagined. That does not mean you’ve failed. Nursing with supplementation, chest-feeding for comfort, or simply holding your baby close are all valid and meaningful ways to bond.

It’s natural to experience ups and downs during this journey. Talking with a lactation consultant, a supportive partner, or even a mental health professional can help you process these feelings and remind you that your worth as a parent isn’t measured in ounces.

Your Next Steps

If you’re considering this, reach out to a healthcare provider or lactation consultant who understands induced lactation. They can help you choose whether to use hormones or medications, create a pumping plan, and set realistic expectations for your journey.

Most importantly: be gentle with yourself. Induced lactation isn’t about “perfect supply.” It’s about love, connection, and giving your baby the gift of comfort in your arms.

How Ebb & Flow Can Help

At Ebb & Flow, we understand that every path to parenthood is unique, and so is every feeding journey. Whether you’re exploring induced lactation, navigating the emotional complexities of becoming a non-birthing parent, or simply seeking reassurance along the way, our clinicians are here to support you. We offer compassionate, evidence-informed guidance to help you process your feelings, set realistic expectations, and care for your mental well-being throughout this experience. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Our team is here to walk with you through the joys, challenges, and everything in between.

References

Cazorla-Ortiz, G., Obregón-Gutiérrez, N., Rozas-García, M. R., & Goberna-Tricas, J. (2020). Methods and success factors of induced lactation: A scoping review. Journal of Human Lactation, 36(4), 739–749. https://doi.org/10.1177/0890334420952639

Hassan, S. M., Hassan, M., & Hassan, A. (2021). Induced lactation and relactation. Journal of Family & Reproductive Health, 15(2), 107–112. https://doi.org/10.18502/jfrh.v15i2.6652

Levitt, L. (2021). Induced lactation in non-gestational women. Patricia Bowen Library & Knowledge Service, West Middlesex University Hospital, Isleworth, UK. Retrieved from http://www.library.wmuh.nhs.uk/wp/library

Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022, November 30). Induced lactation: Can you breastfeed without pregnancy? Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/induced-lactation/faq-20058403